Moonlight Dwelling

I'm in LA working at a diner. I just need to be alone where no one knows me. I keep having dreams about Angel. It's almost like he's not really gone. For a moment it's good but reality sets in and it all comes flooding back.

Here I'm anonymous and going by my middle name. It took quite an effort not to smack that guy when he smacked me on the ass. Men can be such pigs and then I run into that girl that recognized me. I remember that she was one of those vamp groupies. Maybe she won't figure out who I am since she just thought I looked familiar.

Entry Two

Dear Diary

Well Lilly did recognize me after all. Oh fun I got hit by a car pushing that guy out of the way. It was strange that he said that he was no one and looked like he was not all there but this is LA after all. I bumped into some guy with fliers but I guess he had a point about what he was saying. This can be a lonely place if you're stuck on the streets. At least I have a place to stay. I do have the despair thing going for me but I'm doing the best I can.

Entry Three

Dear Diary

I've decided to go home. Lily is taking over my job at the diner. At least she'll have a place to stay. I can't run away from who I am and what I do. I went to a lovely Hell dimension and killed that creepy Ken demon. So much for my Gandhi impression. I wonder how things will go with mom. I had to leave it's not like I had a choice and maybe over these past months she came to accept the fact that I'm the Slayer. She was upset and things were said in the heat of the moment. She must understand that I had to leave or the world would have gone straight to Hell in a literal sense.

Entry Four

Dear Diary

I'm home but things are a bit awkward. I wonder how long it'll take to get back to normal. So I'm back and I can't go to school. I actually want to go to school. It would give me something to do during the day. So mom decided to invite the gang over. I still don't get why she wants to use company plates. I guess I'll get ready for tonight. I guess it'll be nice to have some time with my buds over for dinner. I wonder what we're going to eat.

Entry Five

Dear Diary

So much for a quiet dinner. It turned into a party and the dead crashed. Dirty laundry got aired in the living room which was a bit embarrassing. I even heard someone say that I just got out of rehab. I suppose that's better than the truth. That certainly wouldn't go over well. Sure I'll have it announced for all to hear. At things are back to normal with Will. I so didn't enjoy getting the icy treatment. Wow she's really getting into the witchy thing big time.

Entry Six

Dear Diary

Oh great a new Slayer in town. Hasn't she heard of personal space. It's like I'm being stalked or single white femaled which is pretty much the same thing. Xander and Will are my friends and Giles is my Watcher. I'm not liking this girl at all. Just what I need a girl that pummels a vamp while I'm fighting off two. She is liking the whole violence thing way too much. She is not all there. Maybe Giles can help with the insane girl. She has no right to even mention Angel. Who does she think she is? She knows nothing about this sitch at all. She even was eying my not boyfriend. Hello get a life and stop trying to steal mine.

Entry Seven

Dear Diary

I totally wigged when Scott gave me that claudaugh ring. It was sweet of him but that just hit me like a ton of bricks. Maybe I was a little hard on Faith. She had a lot to deal with and she did come through. We kind of bonded when we were fighting that Conquistos guy. We even had a pig-out session afterwards. She does have a point about slaying making you hungry. I think I'll talk to Scott. Seize the day and all that.

Entry Eight

Dear Diary

Well that worked out well so now I have a date with Scott. It'll be nice to date a guy with a pulse and who is able to go out in the daylight. I'm going to take the ring Angel gave me to the mansion. I guess it's my way of letting go. He's gone and I have to accept that. I have the chance to have a normal relationship with a nice guy so I'm going to go for it.

Entry Nine

Dear Diary

My appointment with that counselor Pratt wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. He was ok. I hope that Oz wasn't the killer. This is the Hellmouth full of tons of demon fun. Talk about a shocker. I'm out patrolling and I come across Angel. He was all wild like an animal and had no idea who I was. I chained him up at his place. There was like a scorch mark in the shape of his body at the spot where I put the ring. So I've decided to hit the books and try to figure out what happened and why he's back.

Entry Ten

Dear Diary

Yikes that was intense. It was same old same old fighting a bad guy and Angel just swoops in. He saved me and finally recognized me. I don't know what to do about this. He seems to be back to his old self. How am I going to break this news to the gang and especially to Giles? I'll just wait and see what happens. I don't think they'd understand and I'm not even sure if I do myself. I wonder how and why he came back.

Entry Eleven

Dear Diary

I'm going to help Angel but I can't tell anyone he's back. Great I got dumped by Scott. I was hoping we'd go to the dance but my distracted self got me dumped. So much for me getting on with my life with a stable guy. Maybe a workout will help. Punching is always a good way to work out the frustrations. I think I've figured out what teacher to get that letter from that the troll wants. Damn his ugliness!

Entry Twelve

Dear Diary

Typical of Cordy to be totally self absorbed. I won't even have a crappy school picture in the yearbook. I'm gonna run for Prom Queen. I want to wipe that smug look off her face when I win. Besides I look cute in a tiara. I can use this to keep my mind off my lack of a social life. I'll be going to the dance with Faith. The tickets are bought so I may as well use them. Cordelia is such a bitch. I'll find a way to get Will to let me take a peek at the data base she made for her. I'll work the guilt angle to my advantage.

Entry Thirteen

Dear Diary

I am so no loving the studying and slaying combo. I'm even dreaming about being chased by improperly filled in bubbles screaming, "None of the above." I'm feeling like I'm in The Real World House only real. I just want to get the SATs over and done with. What's the point really since my fate is sealed in stone I'm the Slayer and that's that. I'm not a normal girl that can go away to college.

Mom and Giles are driving me crazy. At least I was able to talk them into buying the candy. I'm still keeping Angel a secret. I just can't tell anyone yet and I can't not see him. I really wish that I was a normal girl and Angel was my normal boyfriend. Oh crap Mom and Giles totally jumped when I got home. They've been treating me like a child. I can take care of myself as I proved when I was living in LA.

It looks like I won't be driving any time soon. I never thought I'd hear Giles say, "Don't freak out." I just wish they'd let me breathe. They can't schedule my life after all it's my life. I should get some studying in for the SATs which I'm taking even thought it's just another test. Maybe Mom would be more receptive to me driving if I do well on the SATs. It's worth a shot since talking to her didn't help at all.

Entry Fourteen

Dear Diary

Talk about strange. That is so wrong to use chocolate for evil. I actually got to drive so it wasn't all bad. I did get into an accident which so wasn't my fault. It was totally the other guy's fault. He crashed into me and he was under the influence of the band candy.

The Bronze was seriously disturbing. Rat Boy was still annoying but he was nicer. Ethan was behind the whole thing with the candy. It was so scary and strange to see how all those grown ups act like a bunch of us. It really wigged me out. I think my Mom stole that coat but I guess that would be just one of many things about this night that we won't ever speak of. At least I stopped her from doing anything with Giles since the smoochies was gross enough. I so need to suppress the handcuffs because I really don't want to know.

Entry Fifteen

Dear Diary

A new Watcher is in town. I'm just glad she's not mine. Giles is more than enough British for me. Mary Poppins thinks Giles is too American? Come on the guy probably had tweed diapers when he was a baby. I just don't like her but I can't kill her so I guess I'll have to put up with her and on the bright side Giles is in the hot seat instead of me which is nice for a change.

I had to leave Angel before we almost kissed. We can't do that but it's so hard because if we started kissing we'd want more and that way leaves major badness. It would be nice if there was a patch but I'm the only girl to ever get a case of the warm and fuzzies about a vampire with a curse. Oh the fun of my not so normal lfe. At least Faith backed off about Angel. I don't want to talk about him to anyone and if I did it would be Will.

It's just too complicated. And yet more complicated because when I went back to see Angel we started kissing. So much for cold turkey. At least Angel found that magic mitten thingie that has to be the world's ugliest fashion accessory. That's one problem solved but I don't know what to do about Angel. I just can't seem to stay away from him. I don't know what to do about this sitch.

Entry Sixteen

Dear Diary

The cat's out of the bag about Angel. That whole intervention thing was about as fun as getting a root canal. I fee so bad about hurting Giles but I didn't know how to say it especially to him. I don't know why Angel's back but I do know he's better. If I thought he wasn't I'd kill him even though it would break my heart.

What a crappy day but on the plus side my secret's out and I feel better because it wasn't fun having that looming over me like a storm cloud. I wish I had secrets like Will but her secret is so very Will. Leave it to her to feel guilty about sneaking a peek at the SATs. She wouldn't ever have a major secret like the one I did.

It turns out the Watcher was evil so I ended up fighting Faith because she was in Evil Watcher' words an idiot. She's the one that attacked Giles but Faith thought it was Angel hence the big fight between us. I'm just glad that Giles is going to be all right. He should wear a helmet or something because of all those head injuries which can't be good for him.

It was strange fighting Faith but I couldn't let her kill Angel. The gang now knows that Angel is one of the good guys and the bad guy wet poof well in a bolt of lightning anyway. I need to go see Faith to see how she is. Talk about big time suckage with her first Watcher getting killed and the next one turning out to be evil.

Entry Seventeen

Dear Diary

I got a 1430 on my SATs and it seems like everyone wants me to go away. After becoming the Slayer and even before in my bubbled headed days I never really thought about going to college. Mom seems more excited about it than me. Faith could do the Slayer thing but I just don't know how I feel about that.

It could be a chance to be like a normal girl for a change. Mom still doesn't know about Angel being back. I don't look forward to her finding that out. I don't know if I could stand to be away from Angel. I know we can only be friends but if I went away I wouldn't be able to see him.

Entry Eighteen

Dear Diary

What a night. Spike showed up at the house moping about Drusilla. I really wanted to stake him since he's such a shell of a loser but he took Will and Xander so I couldn't. At least he's gone now and if we're luck he won't bother us ever again. He's off to get back with psycho girl. I guess they're a match made in Hell.

It is odd how he wasn't buying me and Angel being just friends. He's right we aren't friends. It's just too hard and I can't fool myself although I was able to fool everyone else except Spike for some reason. I have to stop seeing him because of that temptation. I can't just shut my feelings and giving in leads to major badness. The others are fine but Cordy was impaled which would be on my list of not fun things to do. So all in all it was a pretty crappy night.

Entry Nineteen

Dear Diary

That was a close call. One good thing about vamps is the lack of a body to bury. So it was another fun filled day complete with burying a demon. I prefer the no muss, no fuss route to Slayage. Faith was a no show again. I'm worried about her since too much alone time is of the bad.

I hung out with Xand and Will and watched another one of those weird movies in Hindu. We may all be dateless but at least we're together. It helps to hang out with them but I'm still thinking about Angel but I'm staying away from him. I should focus on other things like school and the idea that college could be a reality for me.

Entry Twenty

Dear Diary

So much for the joy train. It's a good thing there's chocolate which helps a little. I'm not fan of Cordelia but I feel bad for her. It sucks to be impaled and to find your boyfriend kissing another girl is not of the good especially when you end up getting impaled after running away from that sight. I tried giving her some advice but after the vamp and getting knocked into the garbage she wasn't to receptive and went on a rant.

Well I tired which is all I can do. Faith is still pretty scarce. I tried calling her a few times but she never answers the phone. Maybe I'll drop by because she shouldn't be alone so much. I need something to keep my mind off things that should remain unthought.

Entry Twenty-One

Dear Diary

I ran into Angel when I was out doing some Christmas shopping. It was strange just running into him like that. He had this look on his face and then he just took off. It was so very weird. I don't want to talk to Giles about it since he's still twitchy about the subject not that I blame him since he has good reason to but I hated seeing Angel looking so lost or something.

At least I was able to get my shopping done. It's frustrating because I'm trying to get over him and stay away but it doesn't help when I turn around and find him right there in front of me. I just want a nice and quiet Christmas vacation. I'll enjoy some food and hopefully I'll get lots and lots of presents.

Entry Twenty-Two

Dear Diary

We got our Christmas tree. It's so strange how some of the trees were dead. Like anyone would want to have a dead tree in their living room. I'm just glad Mom didn't get a tree with fake snow. That stuff is just so very tacky. A tree should be green not coated in white whatever the hell that stuff is and the pink kind is even worse.

Mom wanted me to invite Faith over for inner. We  haven't really seen each other in a while but Mom worked the guilt. She claimed to have a party to go to but I'm not so sure she was telling the truth. I mentioned inviting Giles over but Mom got all weird. I guess she's still embarrassed about the band candy incident.

Entry Twenty-Three

Dear Diary

It is so weird being in Angel's dreams. Having guest spots in each other's dreams makes the avoiding him pretty hard. Something's wrong with him. He's being haunted by his past. I'm so glad Giles is willing to help since we need to figure this out. The sooner we figure this out the better because I'm really worried.

How am I supposed to get over him? I guess all I can do is take it day by day. Dinner smells delicious. We're going to trim the tree before eating. I can't believe Mom wants to have a fire when it's hot out but I guess nothing says Christmas like a roaring fire. I just hope we figure out were those no eyed guy are so I can go kick some ass and get back to trying to get over Angel if that's even possible.

Entry Twenty-Four

Dear Diary

Well that was something I never thought I'd see snow here in Sunnydale. I don't know what I would have if the sun rose. Talk about a sign. Angel's not haunted anymore by that annoying chatty evil spook thingie. I think he was brought back for a reason and it wasn't to poof himself. Angel can do so much good.

We walked around for a while.  It was odd to have him outside in the daytime even though it didn't look very dayish because of the lack of the sun. I didn't bring him back to the house because that would have been too weird and of the big time awkward. I went back to his place and stayed to make sure all was well on the sanity front.

Mom got her wish of snow and not the crappy spray on kind. So the roaring fire no longer held off the blistering heat. We spent the rest of the day together but Faith left soon after I got back. I'll just wait till tomorrow to give the gang their gifts. I just want to stay in and get some quality sleeping.

Entry Twenty-Five

Dear Diary

That was no kinds of fun. I was out for some patrolling and Mom turn up with a snack.Slaying isn't good for a little mother daughter bonding. I hate that she had to find those kids. I have to do something about this.

I need to find the monster that did this and kill it. There isn't going to be much sleeping tonight. I convinced Mom to take a bath so she can relax or at least try to. She's completely wigging about it. I'll ask Giles to go into research mode and find out what did this. This was such bad timing since Mom was just getting to the point where she accepted the slaying thing.

Entry Twenty-Six

Dear Diary

So much for a bunch of no show since it seemed like most of the town showed up for the vigil. Giles thinks an actual human with a soul murdered those little kids. Mom mentioned the S word and practically outed me. What was she thinking about with that speech? I guess she wasn't thinking.

Of course she's upset about this whole thing and I don't blame her. We just need to figure out who did this. It wasn't witches after all Wills doing the witchy thing and she's good. The last thing we need is some kind of a witch hunt. We just need to find out what's going on and the faster the better.

Entry Twenty-Seven

Dear Diary

That was a really close call. I don't think I've ever bee so glad to see Cordelia. I'm glad that it turned out to be a demon so I could kill it. No wonder that thing preferred the Hansel and Gretel outfits. that thing was of the major ugly.

I'd like to do that selective memory thing myself. It helped talking to Angel who was the one giving the pep talk this time around. So everything's back to normal and no one got burned at the stake. That would be a horrible way to go. Sadly there were those that did but I'm glad we weren't added to the list.

Will's shoes got a little singed but other than that we're fine. Amy on the other hand is still a rat. It's a good thing she didn't turn us into rats too because we'd all be in a cage right now. I have shopping to look forward to since Mom has a major case of guilt. I kind of wish she was still able to do that selective memory thing. It isn't her fault but that doesn't stop the guilt. 

Entry-Twenty-Eight

Dear Diary

Everything was fine when I was working out with Angel but later when I went on patrol things were not so good. I nearly got staked by a vampire with my own stake. Something is really wrong here. This wasn't some special vamp since it was just the average run of the mill kind that I take out with no problems. I'll ask Giles to see if he can help me figure this out.

Faith took off on another one of her walkabouts which is why I was slaying solo and nearly ended up getting staked. I so don't want that to happen again. It's just so wrong. I can't get sick. I'm supposed to go to the ice show with my Dad. I can't cancel and I just love it even if it's a big dumb girlie thing.

Entry Twenty-Nine

Dear Diary

Something is seriously wrong. I was swatted by some no neck and rescued by Cordelia which was bizarre. That just isn't normal. It feels like I'm not the Slayer. Giles is looking into it. I hope he finfs out something soon because I don't like this at all. It also hurts that Dad bailed on the ice show for work. I was really looking forward to that too. Maybe Giles would want to go with me.

I don't know if I could deal with losing my powers which is ironic. It could be a good thing but I don't like feeling helpless. I don't want to end up having to get rescued. I'm sure Giles will find out what's wrong with me. Later I'm going to go see Angel. I just have to stay positive about things.

Entry Thirty

Dear Diary

I can't believe Giles poisoned me. I was so worried that the slaying thing was a wrong number but no Giles injected me with something that made me lose my powers. I really hate him for doing that to me. So the powerless thing is only temporary. I'll be back to full Slayer strength in a few days.

I hated not being able to take care of myself. It was like I was one of those ditsy girls in the horror movies that end up getting killed. This was all some stupid test so happy birthday to me. I've kept up my birthday tradition which makes me want to avoid the birthday thing all together since badness tends to come with each birthday. Their stupid test nearly got my Mom killed.

I really didn't like that guy from the council. I would have punched him for putting me through this even if he's really old. Thanks to those idiots Mom was kidnapped by a psycho vamp. God he made Drusilla seem sane. I never want to see that guy ever again. I don't want a new Watcher either. Giles was fired because he cares too much which makes no sense at all. I'm a human being but that guy didn't seem to see me as a person because he thinks I'm some kind of tool or something that he can do whatever he wants. I'm just glad they are far away in England.

Entry Thirty-One

Dear Diary

Those demons were pretty tough not to mention really ugly. It's a good thing Faith was around and that clouding spell really helped out. Will's getting good at the witchy stuff. I think I'll have a nice warm bath before bed because I'm a bit sore after taking out thsoe demons. I'm tired so I guess I'll go grab something to eat and then it's off to bubbly goodness before the big sleep.

Entry Thirty-Two

Dear Diary

It turns out those demons want to bring about the end of the world. Like I need another apocalypse. Can't they take up another hobby like knitting or maybe donut making.They could be the demons mistaken for freaky elves who sell donuts for geeks everywhere to get donuty goodness.

This one has me scared because they want to open the Hellmouth which is seriously of the bad. The last time that happened I died so it isn't exactly one of my favorite memories. It doesn't happen as much but I sometimes dram about that night. This is really bad so we need to stop it because the demons that get loose will make the ones I'm dealing with now look like fluffy kittens.

Entry Thirty-Three

Dear Diary

Apocalypse averted and my arm in a sling. That was the longest couple of minutes in my life when Angel was knocked out. He's fine which I'm so glad about because I couldn't bear to lose him. It would kill me to see him die. I barely survived the last time.

Giles was amazing. I wouldn't be surprised if that thing starred in a few nightmares. I'm so relieve that we were able to stop it and more or less make it through intact. It's just a good thing no one was around since that would have been impossible to explain away. The car accident excuse worked like a charm at the ER. They so wouldn't have believed the truth and would have locked us away if we had shared the truth.

Entry Thirty-Four

Dear Diary

I can't believe that Faith asked me if I ever had sex with Xander. Sure I love him but I don't love him. Talk about an odd conversation while in the middle of fighting vampires in matching outfits. It must be some kind of club or something and I'm thinking it isn't a book club. I wonder who took the weapons. I don't think they just went poof like the vamps did.

I'm glad to have another Slayer on hand but Faith didn't seem to get that my fighting for my life wasn't a diversion. That girl has a very different way of looking at things. At least she hasn't taken off lately leaving me to do all the slaying. I just know know if she can take my place as Miss Sunnydale in the Slayer pageant while I'm college bound. She isn't all so reliable and there have been times when she doesn't show up like she's supposed to.

Entry Thirty-Five

Dear Diary

The new Watcher is such a dork. He isn't evil which I guess makes him better than the last one but not by much. I thought Giles was uptight but this guy is really uptight. I wish I'd just said screw it an walked out but no I'm the good Slayer. I can't kill this Watcher and it looks like there isn't return policy on dorky Watchers.

Faith doesn't seem to get the whole being outnumbered thing. I was by myself hence the hiding since six against one isn't good so I had to follow her since she just jumped not knowing what awaited her below. Ok I'll admit that fighting those vamps didn't suck. We got the amulet which is of the good. I thought I'd never get the sewer out of my hair. She was right I did kind of get off of it not that I'd go around sharing that little factoid.

Entry Thirty-Six

Dear Diary

So the dead demon isn't so dead and instead he's just badly in need of a stair-master hanging out in a jacuzzi. The want, take, have thing wasn't too bad until the cops showed up bringing things to a screeching halt. We so should have gone back to the library for weapons. I have to say I'm not a fan of getting arrested. I hope those two cops weren't badly hurt.

It's funny how a day that started off so normal would go so wrong. I blew off the chem test. I just couldn't focus and it felt good to blow off some steam. I do wonder why Faith's name causes Xander's eye to twitch. I'll check the paper to see if there's anything about what happened in the morning. 

Entry Thirty-Seven

Dear Diary

Oh my God that guy's dead. I just can't get the look on his face out of my my head. We just left him there. I tried to warn Faith but she staked him and instead of going poof there was all this blood. At least Angel didn' notice that something was wrong. It's not like I could say, "Hi Angel I was out patrolling and Faith killed this guy."

Why couldn't that demon just die without saying something? I don't know what the hell he was talking about anyway because that in no way resembled something that made sense. He said something about rising so I'm guessing some big bad. Giles will figure it out since Wesley is so stupid. I'm going to go see Faith in the morning so we can talk. We need to figure out what we're going to do

Entry Thirty-Eight

Dear Diary

I don't know what to do. Faith just shrugs it off like killing a person was no big deal. I'm having nightmares about it and I didn't kill that guy. She just wants to pretend that it never happened. I can't do that. This isn't just something that will blow over. It's not like she did it on purpose because it was an accident. It could have been me.

How am I supposed to investigate this when I know what happened? Maybe I should talk to Giles. He'd know what to do. Wesley is so out of the question. I can't deal with this all by myself. I should have gone to him sooner but I wanted to protect Faith. She just keeps acting like everything is fine and I know it isn't. Things are so very not fine right now.

Entry Thirty-Nine

Dear Diary

I was pretty scared there for a minute when it looked like Giles believed Faith's lies. I should have gone to him right away but I never thought he'd try to point the finger at me. It's like she erased what happened or maybe shes in shock like Will said. So this has happened before with other Slayers. I still want to help her even though she tried to set me up. She's just scared and confused.

I feel guilty abut it and dirty. I doesn't matter i he was a bad guy or not and maybe he wan't. We'll never know why he was looking for us in that alley. I'm just glad that I talk with Will. I've been spending so much time with Faith and less with Will. She's right about being fester free because that's much better than letting things fester.

Entry Forty

Dear Diary

Talk about a bad sitch getting worse. Angel could have gotten through to Faith but no Mr Dorky Pants ruined everything. He was the one person who would understand what she was going through but no Wes had to screw everything up with his merry band of me. He must have heard Giles and me talking. The guy is an absolute moron. What was he thinking?

I found Faith down at the dock and tried to talk to her. I don't know who she was tryingto convince me or her that everything was hunky dory. We aren't above the law where we can just do whatever the hell we want.

I think there's hope for her. She could have let Trick kill me since that was a pretty close call. Faith took off but she staked Trick before she left. I'm not giving up on her. She can get through this and I'll be her for her while she does.

Entry Forty-One

Dear Diary

I'm getting tired of the tests that Watcher Dork keeps coming up with. Instead of pulling a rabbit out of a hat he pulls a test out of wherever tests get pulled out of. I just want to do better than Faith. Sure it may be shallow but competition is good for the soul or something.

Faith had it rough and it could have been me instead of her. I need to not talk about Faith to Will since that's still a bit of a sore subject. I can't really blame her after what happened with Xander. Will thinks I couldn't have ended up like Faith but I'm not so sure. If I was in her sitch I could have turned out the same way.

Entry Forty-Two

Dear Diary

What a relief that the undead Will wasn't my Will. It would have sucked to have our last conversation be where I call her Old Reliable which I'll never do again. It was so strange to see her as a vampire. I'm not sure if I'd been able to stake her. That was so bizarre. The other Willow was sent back to wherever she came from.

So strange that things would have turned out that way if I never came here. I prefer that way if I never came here. I prefer Will with a pulse. What was up with that outfit? Color me speechless. She did knock around Percy which I would have liked to see. He's behind her being so upset about being called reliable.

It's so strange to know that there's another reality out there where my two best friends are vampires. I wonder what the rest of us are like. On second thought maybe this is one of those times when it's better to not know.

Entry Forty-Three

Dear Diary

Talk about a mood killer Faith showing up while I was having quality smoochies with Angel. We so need to be careful about what movie we see next time. That was one to avoid since  don't want Angel getting any more worked up than usual.

Faith is back to the slaying. I just don't want to talk to her about me and Angel. We're never gonna be best pals but I'd like to be her friend since I could have been her if the roles were reversed. I'm so not going there with my love life or whatever. I'd be shocked if she ever fell in love.

Entry Forty-Four

Dear Diary

There are some things that I don't want to share like my boyfriend. I didn;t stay to hear what went on between Angel and Faith. I trust him but I don't trust her. I so didn't want to hear about her hitting on my boyfriend. They did look pretty cozy.

The demon that had the books is dead and the books were gone. Whoever killed the demon enjoyed it. Now we have no clue what the Ascension is. We only know that it's not of the good.

It helped to talk to Will. She wants me to talk to him which I should have done in the first place. It's just that I sometimes wonder about it. I never know what he's thinking and I bet he has more in common with Faith. So after I eat I'm going to see him.

Entry Forty-Five

Dear Diary

I know it was an act but it wigged me out to see him acting like Angelus. It was almost too good. I just wish I knew what he was thinking. I know we had to do it to get information but it still hurt. Faith just spilled with what she knew. So this Ascension thing happens on the Graduation day.

Now we know that Faith is one of the bad guy. Just knowing it was an act doesn't really help with seeing them kiss like that. It looked fun from where I was standing. I tried to help her but she didn't want it. I knew it was going to be hard and I asked him to do it but it hit me harder than I thought I think I need a break from him.

Entry Forty-Six

Dear Diary

Great my itchy hand could mean I'm infected with a part of the scabby demon. I'm really worried about this. So far I don't have horns or a tail and I still have a mouth. That demon should have come with a warning label. No mouth demon slay with gloves on.

I ran into Angel which was a bit awkward. I couldn't even go to the game with the gang. He thinks the case of the bumpies might be demon hype. I guess it doesn't matter much since I spend so much time in the dark. Why couldn't he just say he loved me without the part about me being covered in slime.

Entry Forty-Seven

Dear Diary

I'm glad that it's just me inside my head. At first it was great. I loved beating Nancy to the punch on answering questions in English but there was a serious downside. It was a world of not fun to have all those voices in my head with no of switch.

Angel ed me the heart of a demon which didn't taste like chocolate or anything resembling good but it fixed me. It was nice to help Jonathan in a non Slayer capacity. I just hope he doesn't ask me to prom. The cafeteria lady was the almost killer. She so needs a career change after a stint in the poky.

Entry Forty-Eight

Dear Diary

Great Faith goes evil and she gets driven around in a limo. Instead of waiting around for Mayor McSleaze waiting to do the Ascension thing I went and did some spying. It was a change from all the cemeteries. So it was like breaking out of the rut.

Will was captured but she came through with grabbing some pages from the books. We had to give back the box of Gavrocks. Yuck it was a bunch of spiders. And the fun just got funner when Rat Boy showed up. I really wanted to punch Wes.

Will stood up to Faith which is great. I guess I have to accept the fact that I'm Sunnydale girl doomed to stay here. At least I can go to UC Sunnydale and as a bonus Will is going too. She's right this would be a great place to learn how to be a bad ass in Wicca.

Entry Forty-Nine

Dear Diary

I found the perfect dress for the prom. Angel's going to lose it only in a not his soul kind of way. Angel really needs at least one mirror at his place to make it more girl friendly and maybe a drawer for some of my stuff Our post slayage nap turned into a sleepover.

It was nice to wake up with him well except for the serious case of bedhead. It would be great to spend the night with him after prom. Now all I need to do is get some shoes to go with my dress. Ange s going to look so hot in a tux. I wonder if he owns a tux. I guess not but he could always rent one.

Entry Fifty

Dear Diary

I know that in the long run Angel is right but it doesn't make it hurt any less. It helped stopping Psycho Boy and killing the hell hounds. I eve got a shiny toy surprise but of course the best part was Angel showing up so I was able to get that one perfect high school moment.

Too bad I couldn't freeze that moment. I don't even want to think about him leaving. I have to focus on this Ascension thingie. We're still not sure what to expect. I think more ice cream is in order. When I got home I found my favorite ice cream in the freezer.

Entry Fifty-One

Dear Diary

Things are so weird at school but thankfully it isn't contagious. Will was being friendly with Harmony which was strange. I just don't get it. You get a piece of paper and nothing changes. So much for my plan of not going to graduation. The Mayor's going to be a speaker which means I'm going so I'll need a cap and gown.

Talk about a poor fashion choice when the inevitable fighting begins. Still no clue about what kind of demon he's gong to turn into. I had Mom leave town because I don't want to worry about her and I'll know she's safe. At least now we know what an Ascension is like because Anya actually survived one.

1999-2000