Moonlight Dwelling

Vampires sleep in the freezer. This is odd and makes me wonder about how they avoid getting stuck when they happen to be sleeping in their underwear.

Only bite someone if they're really asking for it.

Garlic is tasty on a pizza and not harmful to vampires unless they happen to be on a date.

Toss holy water on me and I get get. Crucifixes if you like that kind of thing. Oh and I definetely can't turn into a bat. Mick

Instead of going to the butcher you can go to the morgue for your blood after all human blood is so much better than animal.

Daylight's not good the longer I'm in the sun the worse I feel. Mick

No bursting into flames when out in daylight.

No a wooden stake won't kill a vampire a flame thrower will kill a vampire or we can lose our head I mean literally other than that we heal. Mick

Most vampires don't have boundaries or rules but I do. I don't hunt women. I don't hunt children. I don't hurt innocents but there's predators out there who need to be dealt with. Mick

You can get the surprise of your life when it turns on your wedding night that your new wife is a vampire who turns you.

You have excellent hearing so you can sit outside in your car and eavesdrop without anyone the wiser. You can't go invisible but you can duck down when someone leaves the house so they don't even realize that you're there.

Dracula has a twin that's human who claims to be a vampire and is just downright creepy. He also has a creepy mask that may or may not raise the dead.

 A vampire that doesn't feed right out of the human injects the blood for some reason. Maybe it gets there quicker than just drinking it down does.

 You can go out in daylight without bursting into flames but the sun is far from being a friend. The longer you're out in it the worse you feel. The sun is a friend to nobody whether you have a pulse or not.

A vampire can recognize blood they've smelled before.

Relationships are complicated for vampires too.

Staking a vampire paralyzes the vampire.

A young and stupid vampire thinks violence solves everything.

Until digital cameras were invented vampires couldn't be caught on camera.

Silver bullets are a big no no when it comes to vampires since it is poisonous to them.

Fire is bad but that pretty much goes for anyone.

A vampire doesn't need an invite to go into a person's home.

Silver is poisonous to vampires.

Blood is life for vamps and humans alike. It warms us and it thrills us. Mick

When I get shot it still hurts like hell but I know it wo't last forever. Mick

When I get thirsty I start to see blood everywhere even the damn tomato juice made me think that maybe I found a vamp friendly vending machine. Mick

Normally vampires don't have to frequent women in the trade between willing freshies and your basic vamp appeal  there's just no need. Mick

A vamp can smell that another vamp was at a place even though the door.

Wow vampires make really bad liars. Beth

Sex with vampires is inadvisable since it never ends well.

Traits you value when you hit the 400 year mark are unpredictability and excitment.

When you're well over 400 you get power.

Vampires get nauseous but they don't puke.

Being exposed to massive silver causes a vampire to get nauseous and get silvery hands.

The silver would paralyze the vamp. Yeah but with a stake there'd be blood loss right? With silver you can paralyze the vamp and no leakage. Mick

Vampires can't really be trusted with pets. Mick

One thing you learn when you live forever is not to get too set in anything 'cause it's all gonna change. Mick

You can blow on a surface to reveal prints.

When crimes are committed by dead people tis doesn't suggest to you any kind of vampire involvement? Mick

You need to take the tinfoil hat off boyo step back, get some perspective. Josef

There's no way to unbecome a vampire Mick. Josef

Turning a serial killer into a vampire is a really bad idea because the killing will go on and on and on for eternity unless he's stopped.

The longer you live the more surprises you get. Mick

Aside from silver buckshot vampires can actually just leave a bullet in, bullets, shrapnel, it doesn't matter but try getting through a metal detector with that in you. Mick

Our skin reforms perfect, a clean slate but those old wounds they still ache sometimes. Mick

Beware the bottles that say drink me. Mick

Vampire visual comprehension is off the charts.

Given the complex history with religion and vampires a church is not a place where you'd expect a vamp to find sanctuary. Mick

When vampires gamble they gamble for blood.

Vampires don't give of body heat so install cameras with infrared.

Vamps tend to move around. We can't stay in one spot for too long. Mick

When it comes to revenge and vampires blood is vengeance. Mick

As vampires age their scent becomes more potent from decay. Mick

Boy newly turned vampires no matter how good they are when you've been playing for two hundred years it's hard to lose. Josef

When staying at hotel fill the tub with ice to sleep in.

Stabbing a vampire with a wooden stake is the equivalent of putting a human in shackles. Mick

Vampires don't need food. We can't taste it and we can't digest it. Mick

Don't worry vampires and humans can have sex.

A vampire uses a gun to make it look like a human did the crime.

Animals are naturally afraid of vampires. Mick

Cool it's like role playing without the leather. Josef

I know it's tempting to always blame the vampire but I think this time you guys are gonna have to look for your killer some place else. Josef

Blood always makes a nice present for saying sorry you were a suspect.

I'd rather not I've never even had a Krispy Kreme donut. Mick

Secrets are like a disease and if we don't share them they either eat us up on the inside till there's nothing left until it feels like we're already dead. Mick

What use my crafty vampire abilities to sneak up on you. Josef

Relationships between humans and vampires are difficult, dangerous, and complicated.

The vampire might have forever but the mortal doesn't.

Vampires can't be killed in a car crash.

Don't let being a vampire define who you are.

Put yourself out there when you want to expand your business like getting a Facebook page.

The vampire's your step sire when he turns you back into a vampire.

Even though it's quite tempting to punch that sleazy photographer resist the urge when you're a vampire to avoid getting unwanted exposure.

It's not like you slept with a vampire. Mick

Maybe one in college but I was really drunk. Beth

People kill for love all the time. Mick

Everybody has secrets especially vampires.

The guest can stay on the couch while you sleep in your freezer.

Chasing people is so much different when you're a vampire. A vampire is always in control. It's easy to forget that it isn't just a game. Mick

When a vampire thinks he or she is about to be exposed they move on changing cities, names, and start all over.

This whole digital revolution is bad for vampires. Josef

Back in the day a picture wouldn't matter because the silver in the emulsion equals blurry picture of a vampire.

Every vamp knows childrens blood is more pure, less free radicals but some crave it because they think it tastes better like something cooked in butter instead of margarine. Mick

A vampire can't smell a person and figure out if they are blood relatives.

My DNA was fundamentally altered when I became a vampire. Mick

Unless you and Beth uh rewrite the rules of vampire love and figure out how to procreate. Josef

Vampires can't have kids so that would be one major complication when having a relationship with a human.

Don't get ahead of yourself when you haven't even slept with the human after all it might not be any good.

The Plauge was big in the 1700s not so much with prom and high school.

Keeping the vampires a secret is the number one rule.

I only want to make out with you. Mick

Yeah but you don't want to drink my blood. Beth

Yeah well I got hit in the face with the sacred ass paddle. Mick

Karma. Beth

A homicidal desperate vampire is in custody and she's gonna need to feed soon. It's very bad. Mick

Yeah one thing about being a vampire you get to reinvent over and over again. Mick

When a vampire doesn't want their conversation heard they speak below audible human levels but other vampires can hear.

To love humans is to watch them die.

The topic of turning will come up when a human's involved with a vampire.