Moonlight Dwelling

2002-2003

Entry One

Dear Diary

I haven't written in here for a while. Things are moving along. We kept Buffy's death a secret and so far there has been no sign of a new Slayer. I fixed the Buffybot so we can keep up the illusion. I have an idea about getting her back. I haven't told the others but I've been researching spells of resurrection and think this one that I found could work so I'm going to tell them everything.

If there is some way I can bring her back I'll do it if there's the slightest change of it working. I can do this even though I'll be delving into some major duty dark magick territory. I'm hoping Anya will be able to help in finding the urn that's needed for the ritual. I'm hoping she can track one down through the Magic Box connections.

I'm not involving Giles since I know he'd poo poo the idea. The world needs Buffy and the gang needs her. We've gotten better at patrolling but we need her. It's like a part of us died when she did. I'll never forget the look on Angel's face when I told him. They'd just gotten back from another dimension where Cordelia was a princess. Gee what a shock! I'm surprised she came back since that would be so her.

I guess she's changed since she's left here. I guess Angel is a good influence on her. They have their own little gang going on with the investigating thing and all. Tara is gonna be home any minute so I'm talking to her first about this whole thing.

Entry Two

Dear Diary

Anya was able to find the urn on Ebay of all places. This will be intense but I'm sure I can work this. Buffy didn't die a natural death so magick will help bring her back. I left out the part about me having to kill a deer. If that's what it takes I'll do it. I'll take care of that tomorrow.

We just have to get her out of that Hell dimension she's trapped in. It just hurts my heart to think of her suffering who knows what. We all need her back. The others are a bit iffy on the spell but I know they'll do it. We have to and Giles can't find out.

Once we get her back he'll be just as thrilled as the rest of us. This just has to work. Well tomorrow will be the big night. I'll be tested but I'm sure I'll be able to handle it. I think I'll order a pizza for dinner tonight if I can eat. I'm just not in the mood to cook and Tara won't be back from her study group for a while.

Entry Three

Dear Diary

Well it actually worked although things didn't go as planned. That was one hell of a test but she's back. I'm a little hurt that she didn't even say thanks. I guess Tara's right about Buffy needing time to get used to being back.

Maybe Anya in her strange way had a point about jet lag from Hell. Who knows what happened to her and how long it was for her? She said that Angel was like a wild animal when he got back from Hell so she needs a little time to get back to normal. The important thing is that she's back.

Entry Four

Dear Diary

Buffy finally thanked me and it felt so good. That just means so much to me. I didn't realize that a demon would come with the spell. They really should have warning labels on spells so a person can prepare for it. It was well worth the price and Buffy took care of our demon. Things seem to be getting back to normal. Well as normal as things get around here.

Entry Five

Dear Diary

Giles came back which was great but he was Mr. Cranky. I was amazing when I cast that spell and he calls me stupid and an amateur. It's a bad idea to piss off a person with this kind of power. Now that things have cooled off my brain has clicked on and I realize it was just concern but it was annoying. You'd think he'd have some confidence in me.

That bank was so stupid not to give Buffy a loan after she saved everyone there. Okay so money was taken but that is beside the point. Those people at the bank would have been in a world of hurt if Buffy wasn't there. So much for showing gratitude. A loan with low interest rates would have been a nice way of thanking the person that saved your butt.

Entry Six

Dear Diary

I'm so glad that the whole singing and dancing is over. It was cool at first but I'm not a singing gal. I did love having Tara sing to me. I felt like I'd been kicked in the stomach when Buffy sang that she was in Heaven. I was so damn selfish and I didn't want to think things through. I just jumped on the whole Hell thing and made it my mission to rescue her.

I just couldn't bear the thought of her not being here and didn't stop to think how this would affect her. I have to find a way to fix things for her. I know I can do a forgetting spell. It worked when I made Tara forget our argument. It was silly anyway so no biggie. No harm done. I don't like fighting with my girl.

I got busted with Tara since she figured out what I did. She didn't think it was harmless. I didn't mean any harm. I agreed to give up magick for a week since that was breaking than breaking up which I couldn't bear. I'll just do the one forgetting spell which will solve everything for Buffy and Tara.

Entry Seven

Dear Diary

My spell backfired big time and what a price I paid for one little spell. Tara left me which I wish was a nightmare. I just wanted to fix everything but all it did was cause all of us to lose our memories. I just wanted to help and instead everything is all messed up. Giles left which sucks because Buffy needs him now more than ever. I don't know what I'm going to do now.

There has to be some way to get her back. I'm not doing too much magick. I'm so in control of things. I'm a witch so the whole magick thing is a part of it. I don't understand why she doesn't get that since she's a witch too. If only there was a way to get Amy back. I'm sure she'd get the magick thing and wouldn't be all judgey.

Entry Eight

Dear Diary

I got Amy back to being a human. It just hit me on how to get her back and poof there she was. It's nice to have a magickal friend to play with. I miss Tara but I'm not going to let that stop me from having a little fun. So we went to the Bronze but after a while it got a little dull. I wanted more so very much more. Power flowing through me giving me the greatest rush.

Amy took me to this warlock that gave me such an incredible boost. I was totally magicked out but that boost was such a rush. I'll be going back there again. I'm gonna have fun instead of being all mopey and gloomy. It was so strange to see Tara in the kitchen. For a second I forgot but it just hit me when I was in the shower. I'll see if Dawnie wants to go to a movie or something but I'll want to pay Rack another visit. That was such a rush and I'm craving more.

Entry Nine

Dear Diary

I hit rock bottom and nearly got Dawnie killed in the process. So I'm done with the whole magick thing since it's hurting the ones I love. I just need to take it slow. It's like being an alcoholic so I'm joining a group. It turns out that there's a support group for just about everything. I've also decided to stay away from Amy because she's been a bad influence.

 I can't believe she put that spell on me when I didn't want it. It made everything that much harder but I'm dealing. I guess I can understand how Tara felt when I did the whammy on her. Besides the benefits of being magick free are the lack of blinding headaches and nosebleeds.

 I found the nerds and didn't use magick. I just need to take it one day at a time. Xander was so right about Buffy's haircut being adorable. That was such a close call with her nearly being turned into goo by those nerds. I didn't expect to have the bad guys be human since we are used to dealing with the demon element that we never gave humans a thought although they can be just as bad.

Entry Ten

Dear Diary

My group is called Spellcasters Anonymous. We so need to come up with a better name. I ran into Tara and we talked a little. It was great to see her. Maybe this is a stepping stone for us. I know it'll take time but I still love her and I'm sure she feels the same way. It's not such a crazy thought since it wouldn't be the first time a couple broke up and got back together. If you love someone there is usually a way to fix things.

Those nerds tried to frame Buffy with that poor girl's murder. So it's yay for Buffy but sad for poor Katrina since it was ruled a suicide. Those guys need to be stopped before they do more damage. Hmm I need to go shopping for Buffy's birthday. I'm planning a party since we all could use a little fun especially Buffy who's had her hands full. She works at a fast food joint so why all the double shifts? It's not like she's a doctor there or something. I miss her but she's doing what she needs to.

Entry Eleven

Dear Diary

We made it through Buffy's birthday more or less. I am proud of myself for not giving into temptation. It was great to see Tara and she even stood up for me when Anya was totally bitchy. Maybe I do have a chance of getting back together with her. This is good and for the first time in ages I'm feeling hopeful and dare I say happy.

 I want to take things slow since we're just starting to talk again. I so don't want to mess things up since it's going so well. I want to speed things up but I know I have to let nature take its course. Or should I say her course since it is Mother Nature which implies she and not it. So I have to be patient and take baby steps even though I want to run.

Entry Twelve

Dear Diary

Riley came back and not alone either. He got married so as the best friend I was prepared to hate her. We didn't exactly get off on the right foot. That is such a weird expression. Why the right foot? Is that just for right handed people or what? I guess I'm thinking too much about something that doesn't matter. I actually kind of liked her the bitch.

It certainly took him long enough to come back. I got their email address so maybe I'll write them or maybe I'll just block them so they can't email me. Oh I need to go to my meeting. We still haven't come up with a better name so I guess it's just going to be Spellcasters Anonymous for good.

Entry Thirteen

Dear Diary

I can't believe that Xander's getting married. I am so happy for him. I'm going to be his best man but I have to wear the dress that Anya picked out. It is hideous. I think her brain has turned to mush. I wonder if it's too late to do the larvae thing. I'm sure that would be a big improvement. At least I'm not alone in wearing that dress.

I'm the best man so I should be wearing a tux but no such luck. Anya's spending the night here. I even splurged and got her a stripper. Why not since it's her last night as a single gal. It's just a girls only affair. Good thing Dawnie is spending the night at Janice's so Buffy won't kill me. Maybe I can get the stripper good and drunk so he pukes over my dress.

 Oops I can't wear that so I'll get a classy tux. Ok I can't do that. What is the deal with ugly bridesmaids dresses anyway? Is there some unwritten law that they have to be as ugly as possible? I guess it could be that the bride wants to look that much better. I think I hear Buffy so I better fill her in.

Entry Fourteen

Dear Diary

Well that was so sad. They didn't get married after all. The only good thing is that I got to spend some time with Tara. I'm starting to get even more hopeful that things are going to work out for us. Xander took off and no one knows where. Anya ran off too and she really shouldn't be alone. They seemed so happy.

I just know they were but everything went all kablooey. My heart hurts for them both. Anya didn't even open the shop which is surprising since she loves money. I would think money would ease the pain a little bit.

Entry Fifteen

Dear Diary

The nerds struck again. They sent a demon after Buffy that made her think we were all an illusion. She tried to kill us but Tara saved us. I was able to give her the antidote so she's back to being Buffy. I can't believe that Buffy was in an institution.

 I guess talking about vampires would cause eyebrows to rise and stares to follow. I'm just glad that she came through in the end. Dawnie took it really hard since she wasn't there when Buffy saw her parents.

Entry Sixteen

Dear Diary

That was such a relief to find out that girl with Tara was just a friend. So Tara saw me run off when I saw her and practiced too. We went for coffee and had a nice talk. Things are going really well but I can't jump the gun. I have to take things slowly since it was just coffee but it's a step in the right direction. Well it's time to leave for my meeting.

 2002-2003